What do you get when you take eight Housewives, add copious amounts of alcohol, and mix together on a Caribbean island?
Answer: Some good, old-fashioned reality TV. This week, The Real Housewives of New York City continued to strut their stuff in Turks and Caicos while fighting and bonding with each other.
Bethenny Frankel and Ramona Singer kicked things off with a discussion that started off about Sonja Morgan but quickly shifted to Ramona’s (possibly?) failed marriage.
“I love Sonja. I consider her like a sister,” Sonja explained to the Skinnygirl maven. “I would do anything for her and I think what really freaked her out was I actually, for the first time, brought up the fact that maybe she had too much to drink and I think maybe that freaked her out because I have never said that to her face—ever.” She went on to assert that some of Sonja’s drinking might be due to her being lonely—and, in a rare moment of seeming self-awareness, that sentiment hit home.
Ramona broke down in tears as she talked about Mario. “He’s a part of me, and he may not be good for me, but he really is a part of me.”
In a rare moment of softness, Bethenny gave Ramona a reassuring hug and told her, “I know. I know. I know.” Pretty soon both women were crying.
“I can’t fix him and I want to fix him so badly,” Ramona cried into Bethenny’s arms. I wish I knew how to fix him.”
Maybe Dorinda Shouldn’t Be a Life Coach
The next morning, Dorinda Medley approached Sonja directly to give her some advice. In a nutshell, she told the aspiring lifestyle designer not to let the other women push her around. “Sonja’s a big girl. If she wants help, Sonja will ask for help,” Dorinda explained to the camera. Sonja was pretty pleased with Dorinda’s advice and announced that she should be a life coach.
Dorinda’s advice may not have totally registered with Sonja after all, however, because the next time Ramona approached Sonja (disclaimer: Ramona’s timing may not have been the best), Sonja flipped out in every sense of the term.
“They think you have a major drinking problem,” Ramona told Sonja before adding, “Every single person has said literally that you have gone after their guy.”
At first Sonja simply defended herself, kind of the way Dorinda had advised her. “I’ve never been with someone’s boyfriend. I’ve never been with someone’s husband, so you can just take that theory and shove it,” Sonja told Ramona. But then something happened—and Sonja went from defense to offense.
“Maybe I should repeat some of the things that you did at my house!” she screamed to LuAnn de Lesseps (who had rather kindly just offered Sonja some breakfast eggs) before storming off, with several of the women in tow.
“You need to get in that pool and cool the f— off!” Heather Thomson said while Sonja stripped down to her bikini. For a brief moment Heather tried to take the high road by telling Sonja that all of the women in the house cared about her, but when she could see that that wasn’t working, she shifted gears. “You are no angel,” she screamed as Sonja ran away from her. “You are the one that also s–t behind other people’s backs!”
That’s when Sonja really lost it. “Nice doesn’t work with you people! Nice doesn’t work!” she screamed. “I’m not under attack. I’m attacking you bitches! I’m sick of being nice to all of you… it’s done! Stop talking about me or I’ll start talking about you!”
No one was more surprised by this outburst than Dorinda. “A whole different side came out and I couldn’t reel it back in,” she reflected to the camera. Maybe don’t quit your day job to become a life coach just yet, Ms. Medley.
The fight ended with Bethenny shutting down Ramona. “No offense, but you started it by telling her that I said she’s an alcoholic,” the fiery brunette quipped.
Sonja Inspires Charity Donations… But Misses Out on the Yacht
Think of it like a swear jar, but for a good cause. In an unusual moment of togetherness, the women all agreed not to discuss Sonja for the rest of the day—and any time one of them broke that agreement, she had to put $100 in the jar whose proceeds would later be donated to Dress for Success. Within practically one minute Heather had donated about $300.
The jar brimming with cash, everyone except Sonja headed out for a day of fun in the sun on a yacht. The day’s activities included eating lunch, drinking cocktails, and dumping a bucket of ice water on Ramona’s head. (Shout out to Kristen Taekman for masterminding that plot!)
In another out-of-character moment, Bethenny bonded with the nail polish purveyor—though, to be fair, the topic was blow jobs. “A blow job is the window to the soul,” Bethenny declared. Kristen didn’t disagree so it seemed that they’d finally found some common ground.
But even on a boat, they couldn’t help themselves and the conversation quickly turned to Sonja. For the record, it didn’t look like the Dress for Success jar made it to the yacht. Back at the house, Sonja pumped some iron in a designer cover-up and wedges. It was a little strange, but at least she was being productive.
Breaking: Heather and Bethenny Are Friends Now
In what was probably the weirdest moment, Heather and Bethenny became friends as they enjoyed a romantic side-by-side massage. Okay, “friends” might be a strong word, but they clearly dislike each other less.
“Just because she can be annoying, it’s not her fault. She was born that way,” Bethenny later reflected. Hey, it’s progress!
Dorinda and Heather Spar Over… Something
On the way to dinner a disagreement arose between Dorinda and Heather. It wasn’t entirely what set Dorinda off exactly, but it had something to do with Heather not waiting for her, or not saying she wasn’t going to wait for her, or not being nice enough when she said she wasn’t going to wait for her… it really doesn’t matter.
What did matter was that it hurt Dorinda’s feelings and the usually rational newbie broke down in tears. “You should be nicer. You should say you’re sorry. Because that was not nice, the way you just treated me. I’ve never treated you like that before,” she told the Yummy creator. When she wasn’t satisfied with Heather’s response, she told Heather she was “acting like a bitch.” Heather then said Dorinda was acting like a child. Then they all went to dinner together anyway.
Ramona Takes a Walk Down Memory Lane. Again.
During dinner, Heather asked Ramona if she had any marriage advice, which Ramona was more than happy to provide.
“My husband and your husband they are not as strong as us,” she explained. “Maybe I didn’t make him feel as important as he should have maybe felt. So my one advice to you is your husband loves you; you love him, but you have to still make him feel—men are like babies. They need to feel important.” Heather seemed to take that in, but before she knew it, Ramona was teary-eyed again. “I could not have been everything that I am without him,” she lamented. “I’ll love him forever. He was my soul mate.”
